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The inner workings of the male mind explained!

Question1: I've been with my boyfriend for four years now and have been living together for three. We are both extremely committed to this relationship and have both expressed our deep love for each other. The problem is - the man won't put a ring on my finger or even get into a discussion about wedding bells. Any advice?

Joe: You have to get him to see the benefits. If you've given him the full package already, there's no incentive to change. The only reasonable reason I can think of is that you want to have children with him. "What others will think?" isn't a good reason. But apart from selling the idea of kids to him, you could just propose to him. Do it privately, and confidently. Do it lovingly, but firmly. Do it, because if it is important to you, it has to be important to him. Be sure to give him a few hours to process it before wanting an answer.

Carl: Why on earth would you want to change anything? He obviously loves you otherwise he would have moved on by now. I suspect you are not as devoted to this man as you should be or you wouldn’t be trying to traumatise him with a topic that makes him uncomfortable. Sit down and have a good think about how you can make it up to him. A threesome with your best looking girlfriend is a good start.

Peter: Yes. Get him another beer FFS! And hurry up with the braai.

Steve: The maxim “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” applies. I think we’re led to believe that life should include a fairytale wedding from a Hollywood chic-flick, sad love songs and magazines. If we’re going to live our lives by media messages, then let’s have a wedding that includes ALL of these messages, not just the white dress ones. I want to be dressed as Chewbacca at the altar, have Rammstein or the Prodigy provide music and drink wine from the skull of my enemies like the Vikings did. Or at the very least, have after-dinner coffee in the mugs I’ve stolen from the office. It’s almost the same.

Question 2: Be honest – do you have a name for your willy? Are you going to tell us what it is?

Joe: No, I don't have a name, honest. But I do think "Krul, the warrior king" is the best name to have from that "...lose a guy in 10 days" movie.

Carl: Yes. The Furry Super-Sized XXX Turbo-Charged Ovary Buster.

Peter: Yes, it's called PI. Well, that's in winter, when I'm not navigating around In summer, MISSISSIPPI and I have such larks!

Steve: I’ve never given him a name though if I did I would name him Rover. After a bit of petting he gets truly excited.


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