Subscribe to Femail updates (It's like getting an email from your best friend!)

The Male Panel Spills the Beans

Ever wondered if ALL men have a standard answer (lie) to the question "does this make my bum look big?" The Male Panel gives us their responses and lets us in on what they do that annoys their significant others.

Question 1: What is your standard response to these questions?

Does my bum look big in these jeans?

Joe: "No". But I have to learn to control that twitch in my eye when I lie!

Shaun: “No. In ALL jeans.” (OK, I don’t say that, but for shock effect and entertainment value I would like to say it. Just once)

Do you wish I had bigger boobs?

Joe: "Yes". There can never be enough, and if she feels that she isn't enough for me she'll try harder in bed!

Shaun: “Depends, do you wish I was hung like an elephant”

Do you ever think of another woman when you are in bed with me?

Joe: "Never". But honestly, it's very difficult not to. We're wired that way, don't feel bad.

Shaun: “Woman? No. Women? YES!” (Once again, I have never said that but would like to try it out, just to see the look on her face)

Peter: What kinds of questions are these? These questions are only ever asked as a pretext for manufacturing a fight, and given that whatever the male says will be wrong, it is perfectly acceptable for the man to launch into an in-depth analysis of Hitler’s foreign policy 1934 – 1941. It will not help a jot, but at least he will have the deep dark satisfaction of proving that history does indeed repeat itself.

Question 2: Please tell us about one of the things you do that really annoys the women in your life.

Joe: Apparently I "don't talk". So I offer to "talk" when she's about to fall asleep. If she doesn't want to talk then, it's not my fault!

Peter: How many women? I’m currently only married to the one, 365 years a day.. Anyway... here’s the list : breathe. On a day like today (you don’t want to know, but it involves electricians, plumbers, tree fellers, a stolen car and three broken-down cars and a raft of EFT payments) my mere existence on the planet is the final cherry on the camel’s coffin.

Shaun: Apparently, I don’t display enough emotion and tend not to take things seriously enough.  I think it’s unfair. I cried when Old Yeller died. Is that not enough?

Share this article :

Go on, say something!