Subscribe to Femail updates (It's like getting an email from your best friend!)
  .

Surviving Men

My GFD (Glamorous Friend Debbie) sent this to me yesterday, and I thought it was absolutely HILARIOUS. Needless to say, this is a series of Survivor that I would actually WATCH!

THE 
NEXT 
SURVIVOR
SERIES
 
6 married men 
will be dropped on an island

with 1 car

and 3 kids each

for 6 weeks. 

Each kid will play 2 sports 
and take either music or dance classes

There is no fast food.

Each man must

take care of his 3 kids; 
keep his assigned house clean, 
correct all homework, 
complete science projects, 
cook, 
do laundry, 
and pay a list of 'pretend' bills 
with not enough money. 

In addition,

each man 
will have to budget enough money 
for groceries each week.
 

Each man 
must remember the birthdays
 
of all their friends and relatives
and send cards out on time--no emailing

Each man must also take each child 
to a doctor's appointment, 
a dentist appointment 
and a haircut appointment.

He must make one unscheduled and 
inconvenient
 visit per child to the Emergency Room.

He must also make cookies or cupcakes 
for a school function.

Each man will be responsible for 
decorating his own assigned house, 
planting flowers outside, and keeping it 
presentable at all times.

The men will only have access to television

when the kids are asleep and all chores are done

The men must shave their legs

wear makeup daily, 

adorn themselves with jewelry, 

wear uncomfortable yet stylish shoes

keep fingernails polished, 

and eyebrows groomed 

During one of the six weeks

the men will have to endure severe 
abdominal cramps, backaches, headaches,
have extreme, unexplained mood swings
 
but never once complain or slow down 
from other duties.
 

They must attend weekly school meetings

and church, 
and find time at least once to spend 
the afternoon at the park or a similar 
setting.


They will need to read a book to the kids each night

and in the morning,

feed them,

dress them
brush their teeth
 and 
comb their hair
 
by 7:30 am.


A test will be given

at the end of the six weeks,

and each father will be required to know

all of the following information: 
each child's 
birthday, 
height, weight,
shoe size, clothes size, 
doctor's name, 
the child's weight at birth, 
length, time of birth, 
and length of labor, 
each child's favorite color, 
middle name, 
favorite snack, 
favorite song, 
favorite drink, 
favorite toy, 
biggest fear, 
and what they want to be when they grow up.

The kids vote them off the island based on performance. 

The last man wins only if...
he still 
has enough energy 
to be intimate with his spouse 
at a moment's notice.


If the last man does win, 
he can play the game over and over and over 
again for the next 18-25 years, 
eventually earning the right 
to be called Mother! 


After you get done laughing,
send this to as many females as 
you think will get a kick out of it and 
as many men as you think can handle it. 
Just don't send it back to me....


I'm going to bed.

 

husbanddoingwifeschores11223344556677.png

 

Share this article :

Go on, say something!

  Search
follow us: