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Sleeping Beauty


I have come up with an idea so completely brilliant that Oprah is going to come out of retirement just to interview me! You see, medicine has progressed so much recently that doctors are now able to place people in a medically induced coma. And while this is most often used for victims of a near-drowning incident, the opportunities (in my opinion anyway) are endless!

Just ask any woman what would she MOST like in life (either than for her husband and children to be healthy) - and nine times out of ten, she will tell you that she would like to sleep for an entire week, lose weight without trying, have loads of cosmetic or beauty treatments, get all her dental work done … and not have to pay for a single thing! Which is why my idea is so completely fabulous - a Medical Facility where you get to sleep (albeit in a medically induced coma) for a full week while a dedicated team of professionals sorts out all your health and beauty needs!

In fact, your week would go something like this:

Day 1: Commencement of juice diet, chemical peel for radiant skin, ten minutes in the Tan Can, and a full body exfoliation and hydration treatment.

Day 2: The majority of dental work, as well as a Pap Smear and Mammogram.

Day 3: Non-surgical liposuction on all your wobbly bits, the remainder of any necessary dental work and ten minutes in the Tan Can.

Day 4: A facial, lymphatic drainage massage, manicure and pedicure.

Day 5: Full hair makeover, ten minutes in the Tan Can, reflexology and acupuncture treatment, as well as any waxing that needs to be done.

Day 6: Teeth Whitening, aromatherapy massage, hydrating and tightening facial, as well as a Vitamin B injection.

Day 7: Gradual wake up before being whisked off for a Hot Stone Massage and three hours of compulsory reading overlooking the ocean.

Doesn't it sound absolutely incredible? Who needs a piddly Health Spa when you can have all this? And while you are admittedly unconscious for most of it, that's all part of the charm! No need to think, cook, eat, clear up, beat yourself over the head because you have eaten way too many carbs, feel guilty because you haven't exercised or because you have cancelled yet another dentist appointment. Instead, you get to go back to that blissful baby state where you have someone on hand who will cater to your every need.

And did I mention the fact that you will wake up THIN, tanned, glowing and looking years younger?

Now if I can only figure out how to get Medical Aid to pay for it. I seriously think I am on to a winner here!

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