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Male Panel - Ask the guys

You know that thing you've always wanted to ask the men in your life, but are too scared to? I've got the answers right here!

Guys laughing iStock

Question 1

Be honest – when it comes to bikini waxes, what do you prefer? A short back & sides, sleek Brazilian landing strip or the full Hollywood nude look?

Peter: I grew up in an era when girls didn't do stuff like that. So when my testosterone kicked in, I found furry fannies unbelievably erotic. The "sanitised" hairless fannies available to ogle in those dark Calvinist days belonged to ugly Renaissance fatties and cold marble ice maidens. Go figure. I've never found waxed fannies even vaguely attractive (and I've done the research, oh you bet I have). Plus, when I haven't shaved, my wife is very eloquent about how kak stubble is.

Joe: The nude look. There can be nothing better than seeing freshly prepared icing on a cake. Just for you. And I mean fresh, not a join-the-dots game.

Carl: Ever seen a cat look comfortable while it’s hacking up furballs? Well we don’t enjoy the sensation either. Keep ‘em bald. Only dykes and lumberjacks enjoy hairy beavers.

Steve: Tough call. I’m inclined to say “less is more” but at the end of the day if you are in a position (forgive the pun) where you could critique a hairstyle, you probably won’t care what it looks like. Unless it’s a comb over.

Question 2

If you had to pick the single most annoying trait that women possess, what would get your vote?

 Peter: Put it this way : my wife discovered a medical condition called PMT. Permanent Menstrual Tension. No but seriously, women are WAY too complex. And there is NO LOGIC! I've been married, on and off, for 36 years and I've only learned one thing: the husband is always wrong.

Joe: Taking over an hour to get ready to go anywhere. Who do you expect to run into at Pick 'n Pay? You want to look good for other people, you should rather want to look good when we're around. Men look the same at all times. Granted, they'll never look as good as you, but it's the best we can do given our genetic disadvantages.

Carl: Talking during a movie. No wait! Talking in bed. No wait! Talking in the car. No wait…  Remember ladies, BJ’s were invented, not because men enjoy them, but because it is the only time women shut up for a few minutes.

Steve: I’ve found that women don’t often read non-verbal cues well. For example, when I am watching TV with a beer in hand, I am saying, “Now is not the time to discuss our future”, without actually speaking.

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