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Inside the Male Mind

Straight from the horses' mouths - find out what men really think about love, dating and nagging!

Question 1: When you meet a woman for the first time, what could put you off her immediately?

Carl: Wow, there are so many things. Missing teeth, tasers, menacing husbands, walking sticks… Probably the worst thing has to be a poorly inked slut-stamp on her lower back. Nothing worse than critiquing poor artwork in your mind during sex.

Joe: Loudness, a woman should be demure. Besides that, she should look like she put an effort into how she looks. A woman who dresses well, no matter her size, shape or attractiveness is something special. Of course, we're not all sexist, so we'll try to look the part as well - it's only fair. 

Steve: It’s the little things. Bad table manners, constantly on her phone, belonging to a suicide cult, trying to sell me timeshare between courses, casually mentioning that her father is a proud relative of The Yorkshire Ripper. The usual.

Question 2: My husband has been incredibly stressed lately - what can I do to help? He usually doesn't talk about something until he has worked through it himself...

Carl: What a pity more women don’t have your attitude. Phone up a couple of your hottest friends and have a drunken orgy. If you aren’t quite ready for that, a BJ and bacon sandwich usually helps.

Joe: Just be there for him. Silently, if that's the way he needs you to be at the moment. It would be great if you weren't demanding at these times. Stress can be relieved in many ways - you should think of ALL the ways he might enjoy taking his mind off things. Besides intimacy, be careful that if he is stressed due to financial pressures, don't go out and spend money on expensive lingerie. That will backfire. If it isn't money, then buying Hot Nipple Covers from isn't a bad idea.

Steve: Buy him a six pack of beers. And porn. And a new car. And a holiday home. OK, just the beer but if you have the cash to spare...


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