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I Couldn't Hair Less!

I have to admit that being a woman is completely and utterly exhausting. I've gotten to the point where I need to color my hair every six weeks to prevent my "silver highlights" from making me look like Kayla's granny. (In fact, Kayla is usually the one to point it out to me in her usual up-front manner - "Mommy, you need to go and see Clive TODAY because I can see a LOT of grey and it does NOT look good!)

Then there's the relatively small matter of my eyebrows. The three girls in my family have been blessed with incredibly long and thick hair - a blessing on the top of our heads but a curse when it comes to the hairy caterpillars that are our eyebrows. I have completely given up on trying to keep them plucked and perfectly shaped and now make my way to the salon every two weeks to have them threaded. Every two weeks, people! (I also turn a blind eye when they surreptitiously get rid of my Hitler's mustache at the same time...)

Then there's the nails and the toe nails and keeping my heels smooth and crack-free. Shaving or waxing my legs is also on the list ... and on it goes. And let's not get STARTED on make-up and blowdrying my hair. It is a full-time job trying to look vaguely decent for meetings or when fetching Kayla from school!

And then ... just when I thought it couldn't get any worse... it did.

There I was on Saturday morning, putting on make-up before Kayla's karate exam, when I suddenly found myself thinking of the silver tinsel that people often use to decorate their Christmas Trees. I was so lost in thought remembering the Christmas Tree in our lounge growing up, that it took me a while to wonder what had triggered this particular train of thought.

It was, in fact, something on my neck. Something shiny that resembled tinsel when it caught the sun.

I wiped the side of my neck to get rid of it, thinking that it must be a piece of stray cotton. But it stayed stuck. In fact, it WAS stuck. To my neck. Just under my chin.

Two minutes later, with the help of my make-up mirror, I had to sit down on the side of the bath to avoid having a panic attack. Because what I had just discovered on my neck was a single grey hair. The length of about 5 cms.

I felt ill. What if EVERYONE had noticed and no-one had felt comfortable telling me that I had something that looked like a silver tapeworm sticking out of my neck. And what if my lovely client, who seemed enraptured with my earrings at yesterday's meeting, was in fact unavoidable staring at my CHIN HAIR?

It was just too awful for words. (On the upside though, the chin hair was so long that I could probably wrap it around my neck and hang myself with it. Bonus.)

Thankfully, I had super-sized super-powered tweezers that managed to pull that thing out within seconds. I also had Stephen's heavy-duty pliers on hand as a back up. I then spent the next ten minutes examining my face, chin and neck for any more strays, when what I SHOULD have been doing was getting my child ready for her karate exam.

The truth is that nothing on earth prepared me for this new milestone in getting older. I have seen nothing in FAIR LADY, Longevity or Women & Home advising me on how to deal with the hair on my chinny chin chin.

Hopefully it was just a rogue hair and is not a portent of things to come. Because seriously people, I just don't have TIME to add yet another step to my already hectic beauty routine! Aaargh!


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