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An Absolute Steal!

I am so excited! This is, without a doubt, the most exciting thing that has happened to me in years. I am actually <DRUMROLL> the victim of Credit Card Fraud! 

Yes, yours truly has somehow had her credit card cloned and to date, the fake credit card has run up a bill of over six thousand rand at various stores in the South of Joburg! 

I am BESIDE myself with excitement. 

And concern.


Because, you see, as a result of my rather shocking shopping habits, Stephen did not realise there was a problem with my card until he received a rather alarming SMS from the bank for a R3 742 purchase that was made with my card. While I was sitting next to him on the couch. 

Now, while I am an Olympic Gold Medallist at shopping, not even I am capable of spending money at Southgate while sitting quietly on the couch. 

“That’s odd!” Stephen murmured while looking at his phone. 

“Hmmmm?” I replied, while secretly wishing that Stephen would wait until the commercial break before engaging me in conversation. 

“Did you spend R3 742 today?” 

Silence. I had to think about that one. 

“No,” I replied. “I don’t think so...” 

“No, you didn’t?” Stephen asked with raised eyebrows. “Or, yes you did, but you have now hidden everything at the back of the cupboard so it doesn’t count?” 

“No,” I frowned. “I haven’t been to the shops since Wednesday when I had my nails done.” 

“Really!” Stephen laughed. “You mean other than spending R570 at Edgars this afternoon when you told me you were visiting your Mom!” 

I was stunned. Had I become so obsessed with shopping that I had begun to block out all my binge shopping episodes?This was rather alarming. 

Until I found the flaw in his logic. 

“If I had spent R570 at Edgars, which I DIDN’T!” I huffed, “I would have paid for it with my Edgars card and not with my credit card. So, it couldn’t have been me!” 

Silence, before both of us jumped up and went racing through to my handbag to see if my credit card had been stolen. But there it was, nestled happily in my purse between my Woolworths and Fuel Card. 

“I had better call the bank!” Stephen muttered while dialling on his cellphone. “This is not good at all.” 

Turns out that approximately ten purchases had been made with my card, and Stephen had not picked up that there was a problem because he thought I was out shopping. When I was meant to be having tea with my mom! 

Sadly, the bank had to cancel my credit card, and had I not intervened when my sneaky husband asked them to delay printing a new one, I would have been DAC (Desperate and Cardless) for the next two weeks! 

The bank has now opened a case of fraud and I had to swear on my bank balance that I hadn’t made the purchases myself. Which I didn’t! In fact, I am trying very hard not to take offence at Stephen’s whispered warning that I had better confess if it WAS in fact me who had made those purchases. I mean, REALLY! 

We now have to wait and see if the fraudster tries to use my card again, which will result in him being arrested. I wonder if they will let me visit him in jail? I would love to know how he managed to clone my card, as well as see what items he had purchased for R3 742. I would be all stern and disapproving before heading for the press conference outside and speaking about forgiveness and deprived childhoods and Colonel Mustard in the Kitchen with the Candlestick. 

Who knows? They might even interview me for YOU magazine. I had better start dieting now!

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