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Am I Mad for Wanting Another One?


So here's the thing - I am so broody that it's frightening. Which  makes no sense whatsoever because I actually HAVE a baby who is just 12 weeks old. What on earth am I thinking?

And it's not like I had the easiest pregnancy with Isabella. I spent the first three months hunched over a toilet bowl for about 6 hours each day, mournfully gazing at the beautiful patterns my breakfast/ lunch/ supper made on the inside of the bowl (FYI - watermelon is the prettiest item of food to throw up).

I then had a magical few weeks where I managed to get some work done, see a few friends and regain the will to live, before Isabella began pushing on some sort of artery in my back that would cut off blood flow to my head. So I would pass out if I leaned back against a chair or lay on my back for too long! It wasn't easy, but it was just so completely worth if when I look at this little munchkin that has stolen my heart!

I'm also not getting any younger, and having a baby at the ripe age of 40 is not always the wisest idea. So any future babies would have to be conceived and delivered as soon as possible - but then I would miss out on time with Isabella. Especially if I have another less-than-great pregnancy. And I have SO loved the past 6 years with Kayla and all the special one-on-one time I had with her. It would be so magical to have soothing similar with Isabella while Kayla is at school.

So why do I feel so sad? Is it because I am so completely loving this time and don't want it to end? Is it hormonal? Or should I seriously consider having another one?

I have no idea. So I think I'll have a glass of wine.

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